Saturday, January 28, 2012

RIP Tyrannosaurus Chainsaw

I have been anticipating tonight's big event more than a sexually active 16 year old waits for her late period.  

After tolerating the roaring child of an earthquake and freight train that emanates from Red's face, every night, for WAY too long, he is having his sleep study tonight.

Let's give an absolutely honest and accurate description of Red's snoring:
*So loud, it scares the baby.
*So loud, his 3 year old niece once asked me if there was a monster upstairs (when he was passed out in a bedroom at his parents house, with the door shut, and we were all in the living room downstairs).
*So loud, when we were in the hospital after having the Yeti, it was the primary topic of conversation among the nurses.
*So loud, I can hear it in the living room, with 2 rooms and 3 doors shut in between us.
*So loud, that if he falls asleep in his chair, I have to put Closed Caption on the tv just to know what Snooki and J-woww are talking about (usually sex, but I like the juicy details since I have a child now, it is the only action I get)
*So loud our friends will not camp next to us, we are required to get a site across the campground.

In celebration of ear plug free nights ahead and a sleeping baby, tonight's menu consists of:

*A bottle of Sangiovese Di Toscana (the Insomniac Mom's favorite wine, please email me if you would like to send wine donations)
*Brie and Honey on French Bread (Warning: do not put honey in your hair, see previous post)
*70% cacao dark chocolate

So raise your glass and toast to me, dear friends!  God bless the CPAP!

1 comment:

  1. Yup - I know what that's like. My ex was a snorer & went through that sleep study crap and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. They gave him a mask to sleep with, but it was super uncomfortable, so he wouldn't wear it. When I finally got rid of him and met Chris, I gained another snorer. It drives me INSANE!