Thursday, January 19, 2012

More on baby puke...

It seems that one of the few mom talents I have yet to master is proper burp cloth placement.  I have no finesse when it comes to catching puke on anything other than my shirt.  Either that or I have one extremely devilish and uncooperative Yeti.

Upon the advice of my girlfriend, rather than purchase those wimpy terry cloth, buy cloth diapers, she offered.  They are super absorbent, bigger than most burp cloths, and a lot cheaper!  Right up my alley.

She did not, however, advise me on proper burp cloth etiquette.  It never fails that after the Yeti feeds, I do my best to keep him facing the cloth and at the millisecond before he pukes, he turns his head, making sure that he completely misses the burp cloth.  Or, he spouts an impressive display of projectile vomiting that would rival Disney's nightly display of fireworks before he is anywhere near the burp cloth.  He should choreograph it to music.  He never does this to his father.  It must be that manly bond - an unspoken agreement to torment mom.  Red cannot fathom how I get so much puke on my clothes (although, logic dictates that there is a direct relationship between the amount of feedings performed by mom and the amount of puke she gets on her shirt).

Of course, however, after the release of recycled formula, his eyes sparkle and his slimy white lips curl upwards.  My heart melts and all is forgiven.  God help the girl babies of southern Vermont, someday this kid is gonna be deadly in the dating scene.

So, every day, I proudly bear that honorable badge of motherhood above my breast - a white stain that indicates that I am completely incapable of finding a good place for a burp cloth.


  1. I never thought that I'd miss baby stains on my clothes, but I do. : )

  2. Ok so it wasn't "spit up" exactly...but when my daughter was 6 mo old...and hubby had never really been puked on before (and consistently mocked me for being her personal puke bucket) she got this horrendous stomach was awful...he took her (laughing) as I went to get a new shirt...just as she was in his hands (he was still laughing)as YAK! All over him...giant puddle in his bad as I felt that my sweet girl was so miserable I laughed my ass off at him...his response "stop laughing and get me something" lmao karma bitch! I am just mean like that, lol

  3. Oh man, I don't miss those days! But I'm sure you're doing it exactly right--he's just a crafty one. There are no tricks of the trade; we all smell like baby puke until they're about 6 months old. It is what it is, but man, are those smiles worth it! :)

    Thanks for sharing your happiness with us at Rub Some Dirt On It!

  4. Haha love it Kathleen! Red won't change poopy diapers - the few times he has tried he starts gagging and dry heaving uncontrollably. I live in a Catch 22 because I am eagerly awaiting the day he is holding the Yeti and it has a massive diaper blow out (you know the kind that go right up the back out the neck?) however, I know it will result in me having to clean the Yeti and Red's puke.

  5. i can only imagine how frustrating that is lol! i didn't have pukey kids but poopy front to back, no diaper could catch it i kinda feel your pain ;)

    visiting from ! :)

  6. " I proudly bear that honorable badge of motherhood " LOVE that line!!