Story time:
When the Yeti was two weeks old, he came down with a pretty nasty cold with lotsa phlegm. My child that swallowed up more matter than a black hole wouldn't eat and was so congested he gurgled when he breathed. Being a new mom, I was terrified. I called the pedi and they casually informed the scared new mom that there was nothing they could do and to just make him comfortable until he got over it. So I stocked up on baby Vicks and put a vaporizer directly under his swing. In a few days, he still had not gotten over it. I called them back, and was told that if I took his temp and it was over 100 then to call back. So, of course, I took his temperature constantly. At about 1:00 pm his fever hit 100.4 under his arm (which I was also told to add 1 degree onto an armpit temp). Of course, I panicked and called over - they gave me a 5:00 pm appointment. When we went over, we did not see his normal pedi but the on call doc (who we specifically did not pick because she did not have a child of her own and we didn't think that she would be as good with children as someone who had a herd of their own). First thing she did was offer him a bottle and of course, he took it. Well, she said, clearly he is hungry. Have you tried feeding him lately? Nope, we are starving him. She then took his temp (rectally, poor little guy) and it was only 99.6. Ummmm, you said he had a fever of over a hundred? Maybe you should try calling us next time he actually has a fever. And oh, by the way, if you were still breast feeding him, he wouldn't be sick.
I pictured myself transforming into the Hulk again. She then continued on to inform us that our car seat was too big for him. Hmmm...when we purchased it, it said it was for infants. I guess Combi lied. I'll have to call them and complain. Veins pulsing in my temples. We packed up the Yeti and left.
This was the first of several bad similar experiences in this practice.
So here's my bitch:
When I found out I was pregnant with the Yeti, I was adamant
that I would breast feed. I read all the
books and did all the research. I never
had any intentions of having to every put one drop of formula in his mouth.
Fast forward to the first night after hatching the
Yeti. He latched right on, we had no
problem feeding, for a half an hour, every hour. I missed sleep. My nipples hurt. He cried all the time. I was miserable. In addition to ‘latching on’ he liked to chew
on me. I consulted the lactation
consultants on the ‘chewing’ and they had no answer. With regards to him eating every hour, I was
told “Oh, it could take two or three months for him to get over that.” Damn.
My nipples were cracked and bleeding.
Breast feeding was so painful, that I was crying every time he fed. I tried the nipple creams, it didn’t
help.
When he was nine days old, we had a projectile vomiting
incident, the contents of which were milk and blood. Being a new mom, I panicked and called the
hospital. They assured me it was just
because he was swallowing so much of my blood.
F*ck that. I caved and gave him
formula. His first four ounce bottle, he
guzzled and wanted more. I felt horrible
– I was turning my kid into a vampire and starving him. I felt even worse for feeding him *gulp*
formula!
Now, when we go to doctors’ appointments, I get all the
snide comments that I’m not breast feeding.
Ok, doctors and nurses – I feel bad enough that I am giving him formula
and feel like a failure for not nursing him, thank you for making me feel like
a horrible mom. Millions of children
have been raised on formula and turned out fine, right? I made an effort, right? I have discussed this with my friends, and they have all had similar experiences. Many changed pediatricians several times until they found one who respected what they had to say.
I’m writing this post, because I am curious about other
mom’s experiences – bad nursing experiences, good ones, how their healthcare
providers reacted to not breast feeding or any other parenting.
In my opinion, they should be supportive of the decisions parents make
(provided it is in the best interest of the family) with regards to any aspects of their child's health. So why is it that I feel like every time that we go to the doctors' office, I wind up feeling like a bad mom? Why aren't they more understanding of a new mother's concerns?
Hi! Stopping by from MBC.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
Ok, I am gonna try really hard not to rant here....but there is NOTHING wrong with NOT breastfeeding a baby. I didn't breastfeed either of mine and knew before I ever got pregnant that it wasn't my thing. And ya know what? They turned out just fine. Sure, breastfeeding is good for the babies, but it's the mothers decision not to if she wants and noone should make us feel guilty about that. My pediatrician tried to pull that shit with me, too, but I am such a bitch I shut her up before she even got the words out. You're doing just fine.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that anyone would try to make you feel badly about that is insane. It's a choice, and really, whatever works best for mom is what is best for baby, because if you are miserable, it is not the right thing for you. Nobody can tell the difference between a form baby and a nursed baby. Personally, my daughter was on formula after a month of hellish nursing and was a sickly peanut but after formula she is a brilliant, giant, healthy baby. Who eats trash. Fine, maybe not so brilliant. But you are NOT a bad mom, they are idiots. End rant. :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteI hate that, they have no right to make you feel bad. I managed to breast feed my first for 8 months, but the second was so hard. The pain was unbearable, and after paying $200 for a lactation consultant, $300 on a pump, having to pump and message and give them bad boys hot water baths to get rid of clogs, and then developed a horrible abscess, I gave up. I cried for days, but you know what, they boy never looked back and it was so great going to bottle. The stress was gone, he stopped being fussy. It was the best choice. Whatever works for you, do it and don't look bad. Tell them their hair is a bad choice for their face. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteO.M.G. I could have written this post myself! Thank you for helping me feel like I'm not alone here!
ReplyDelete