On Nagging and Diet Food...

I have recently been nagging positively encouraging Red to eat healthier and maybe even drop a few pounds.  It certainly has nothing to do with appearance, I just want him to live a long healthy life, not become a Discovery Channel special involving cranes, the indoor use of chainsaws, and three fire departments.  


The epic challenge surrounding this war is that Red is absolutely the pickiest human being I know.  He is the polar opposite of me.  I watch Bizzare Foods with Andrew Zimmern and would eat most of what he features on his show.  The list of foods Red will not eat ranges from tomato sauce (unless it is sandwiched between crust and cheese and involved in anything referred to as 'Meat Lovers') to apples.


So, I have made it my mission to stock the house with healthy paw food (a term my father, who, like Red, drives truck for a living, coined for food you can eat easily with your hands).  The kitchen is stocked with grapes, clementines, granola bars, homemade healthy banana nut muffins (recipe to follow), 100 cal packs of various snack food, and many other goodies.  So here are some conversations regarding the foods I have stocked for him:


*Regarding Pringles 100 cal packs:
Red:  You know those Pringles you got me?
Me:  Yes.
Red:  They're kind of small.
Me:  Really?  Sorry, I didn't think an entire tin would fit in your lunch box.


*Regarding grapes:
Me:  Hey, how come the bunch of grapes I packed in your lunch three days ago is still in there?  You love grapes.
Red:  They are hard to eat.
Me:  Are you peeling them individually?


*Regarding Clementines:
Me:  You drink orange juice by the 55 gallon drum, why won't you eat oranges?
Red:  They make my hands smell like orange when I'm done eating them.
Me:  They make soap and water.


            *3 days later*
Red:  I ate four tangerines today.
Me:  Awesome, where did you get those?
Red:  Off the kitchen table.
Me:  We don't have any tangerines.  Do you mean clementines?
Red:  Whatever.  Can you buy more?
Me: Sigh


*Regarding my homemade healthy banana nut muffins:
Red:  Those have a funny texture.
Me:  Yeah, I bought them from Dunkin Donuts, picked out all the fat, then reassembled them.  The super glue holding them together makes 'em a little chewier.

Beware the evil health food.

Hannah's Healthy Banana Nut Muffins:


Ingredients:

• 2 eggs, beaten
• 3 very ripe bananas, mashed
• 1/4 cup liquid (you can use milk or OJ*)
• 1 cup AP flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour or ground oatmeal
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup Splenda
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 F

1.  In a small bowl, mash together eggs, bananas, and liquid.  Make sure very or over ripe bananas are used, you really need that moisture

2.  In a separate bowl, combine remaining ingredients.  In the center, form a small 'bowl'

3.  Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredient 'bowl'.  Fold in gently.  DO NOT OVER MIX, IT WILL CAUSE THE MUFFINS TO BE TOUGH

4.  Put mixture into muffin tin.  I use an ice cream scoop and use a nonstick muffin tin.  This recipe is a little sticky.  I made the mistake of using paper cupcake liners and they were difficult to pull off the muffins.  This makes 11-12 muffins.

5.  Bake 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.  I find these bake at exactly 20 mins.

Note:  these muffins do not have a traditional cakey texture - they are a little chewier.  However, they are VERY low fat and low cal.

*I have a large Tupperware in the fridge that I reserve the liquid from canned fruit in.  Since I only buy canned fruit that is canned in fruit juice or light syrup, it isn't all sugar.  I use this in anything from marinades to cooking to mixed drinks.  It does have a lot of flavor.