Thursday, February 2, 2012

I have a confession to make:

For the last couple of weeks, I have been desperately depressed.  We are talking eating a bag of chips on the couch all day in my rotten pajamas while watching 19 Kids and Counting depressed.

Why was I depressed?  Well...
*New England winters get pretty dreary.  Even if this has been a warm one, we still deal with shorter days, more cloudy days, and plenty of gnarly weather.
*With said yucky weather, for about three weeks, Red was either working or sleeping.  Since the weather sucked, I never wanted to pack the baby up and go visiting due to bad road conditions.
*I was informed that I didn't get an interview for a job I really wanted.
*Being out of work since August is absolutely making me stir crazy.  I wouldn't trade this time I have spent with the Yeti for anything, but frankly - the Insomniac Mom misses the social aspect, the mental challenge, and the physical change of scenery that a job provides.
*I'm just plain freaking bored.

I was getting lazier, eating crappy food (which makes me feel worse), was drinking more - hell even venting to you people had lost its magic.

So what did I do about it?

I forced myself to get my ass in gear!
1.  I went out and bought a new sexy outfit, spent the day primping, left the Yeti with grammy, and Red and I went out on a hot date.  It felt amazing to feel hot again, walk around Northampton and giggle and flirt like teenagers, and have an amazing meal at The Eastside Grill (phenomenal roast duck).  It made both of us realize that while we both need time for each other, we couldn't believe how much we missed our little Yeti.

2.  I had some talks with Red, my mom, and my dear friend Bobby D about my unemployment and job search woes.  They all told me the same thing, there may be days that it is lonely, but you will never get this time back with the Yeti.  Cherish it.  Also, that I have an opportunity to find what I really want to do.  There are so many opportunities out there and that I truly am a valuable asset to a company or organization.  That when the right thing comes along, I will know it.

3.  I bought a guitar.  Yes people, you heard me.  Look out Miranda Lambert.  I needed a hobby - a me thing.  I needed some mental challenge.  Something that required minimal set up (as you know, with a kid, you have to savor every thirty minutes) and equipment.  I love singing and performing (as I did with Bobby D once in a while pre-Red).  I am so excited about it, I can barely sleep (oh, wait, I do that anyway).

4.  I bought some Jillian Michaels' fitness dvds and decided it is time to get my ass in gear.

5.  I remembered what my mom had always told me - even though you have a bad day or feel a little down, it is your choice every day to put a smile on your face.  So I took that advice and decided that I need to smile more and laugh.  Stop watching depressing train wreck reality TV and do something!  Nothing puts a smile on my face like making my baby smile!

So, readers, I hope that in posting this, maybe I will help one person out of a slump.  I realized I needed to stop dwelling on negative things, and focus on the positive.  I have a perfect, healthy, gigantic baby boy who is truly a blessing a puts a smile on my face every time I look at his chubby puke covered cheeks.  I have an amazing fiance/gigantic leprechaun who is amazingly supportive and truly the love of my life.  I cherish every day that I get to spend with him and can't wait for March 17th, the day I become Mrs. Red.  I have a great family (both new and long time) that loves me unconditionally and is always there for me and us.  My friends are also amazing and always there for me too.  Thanks Bobby D, Johnny B, and Mindi-moose, with out you, life would be pretty boring.

So now that I am filled with rainbows, unicorns, and cupcakes, let's get life started again.


  1. Good Luck on all of it. Those are all big challenges, but I am sure with the positive mind set you have you can succeed! Winter is tough on me, too and being home with the kiddos you just sorta want to sit on the couch and do nothing. I make us get out and walk must about every day, which really helps my mind set and theirs too.

  2. I love that you call your little one the Yeti lololol! I burst out laughing! I had one of those epiphanies just last week, time to get my butt in gear. Glad to see I'm not the only one!

    Visiting from the happiness is blog hop (though I didn't post this week)

    swing on by!